Being told you're not good enough is not an easy thing to hear. After not winning Miss Nebraska Teen USA, I still couldn't let my dream go. I would return to pageants when I was 20 to compete for Miss Nebraska USA. That year I was a hot mess. I ended up making the top 10, but I realized I still had to figure out who I was. I came back the following year and placed 1st runner up. I thought I would give it one more run the following year. I was so close to winning, how could I possibly not try one more time. In October 2012, my dream finally came true and I was crowned Miss Nebraska USA 2013.
My dream took five times to achieve, two tries at teen and three tries at miss. If that isn't perseverance I don't know what is! I found that after a pageant was over I could return to my quiet, shy life and only have to be outgoing when necessary. Competing for the title of Miss Nebraska USA allowed me to step out of my comfort zone for a little bit, but my year as Miss Nebraska USA was a YEAR out of my comfort zone. I was thrown into so many awkward situations and always had to be outgoing and in command of the situation. But there was something about my crown and sash that would transform me into that person. I became used to public speaking and being the center of attention. Though one part of me would always have a bit of anxiety, my Miss Nebraska USA alter ego would say "you can do this!" I would often joke that I was like Hannah Montana; Shy, normal girl without the crown and sash, and then become a whole new person when I would "crown up".
This leads me back to the discussion of changing my logo. Starting a business is starting a new goal, much like my goal of becoming Miss Nebraska USA. I know it'll take many years to accomplish the success I'd like, but I can now take valuable life lessons from my years of pageantry and apply them to this goal. When I was competing in pageants, it was easy to say, "oh that girl is prettier, taller, smarter, etc." The same is true with my business. I can list 100 other illustrators that are better than me, but it doesn't matter. The only competition is myself. When I look at my crown and sash sitting in my office, and the logo of me in my Miss USA dress, it's a constant reminder that I am good enough. I am proud that I accomplished a goal that only a small amount of girls can say they have. It reminds me to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, to stop doubting myself, and continue to dream big, work hard, and stay focused. I look at the sparkle and think to myself, "I can do this!"
Lots of Love,
